Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize