she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
