my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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