Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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