i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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