i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
