i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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