This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
we made out on top of his cat.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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