But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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