Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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