Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You took a bar mat shot.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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