then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
