You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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