Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
