I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
