I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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