I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
