Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
