we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
