I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
