Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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