That's intense
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
