pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
My butt remains clenched, sir.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
