We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize