I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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