OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize