The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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