The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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