i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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