Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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