i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
