Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
