I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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