Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
