She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
