I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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