why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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