Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
