It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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