So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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