i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
