I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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