nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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