So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
