i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
