dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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