Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
