It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
