i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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