He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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