I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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