My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
