I'm really into asian looking animals
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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