Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
