its not stalking. its research.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
