Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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