I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
