You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
