I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
