how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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