friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
