The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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