Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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